Absolutely without a doubt. It is vitally imprtant to their safety. There are so many perverts and weirdos out there. 100%.

Trust of the child does not come into it at all.

Vehemently said   

With so many tools available to guard where your child goes, it should not be necessary to spy, BUT, if you allow your child to go where ever, spy you must to protect them from Internet predators and such.

With so many tools available to guard where your child goes, it should not be necessary to spy, BUT, if you allow your child to go where ever, spy you must to protect them from Internet predators and such.

That was my object MM, to place as few physical restrictions as possible leaving the rest up to her.

It was a test sorta. I was very satisfied withe the results, and still am

The problem is in the question itself, I think. A parent supervising a child isn't 'spying', so the people who present such an argument have their definitions screwed up in the first place. I think the Internet is a valuable resource, but for kids the age we are talking about here I think they should have a list of sites that they are allowed to go to, and the rest of the net is off limits.

There's just way to many spoofed URLs and other pitfalls. I dunno how many times I have caught really, really vile stuff on searches that got around Google's filters. If a kid misspells a URL or a search they can easily end up on a site they don't want to go to, with a thousand grotesque popup windows complete with sound.

My personal opinion is the Internet is about the same level as driving. Before you're old enough to drive, your access should be limited or at least filtered as much as possible. I think computers should be in public areas of the house and never in a room that a child can close the door and not have anyone see what they are doing.

I think as a parent you have the duty to watch what your kids are looking at on the internet. My boys all get on the internet they are 13, 10 and 6. They mainly play games but will occassionally look something up for a school project. I have not allowed them to have their own emails or IM's yet. My middle asked but didn't push it, so I just let it go.

The problem is in the question itself, I think. A parent supervising a child isn't 'spying', so the people who present such an argument have their definitions screwed up in the first place. I think the Internet is a valuable resource, but for kids the age we are talking about here I think they should have a list of sites that they are allowed to go to, and the rest of the net is off limits.

EXACTLY.

It is the responsibility of the parent to monitor their child in any activity they take part in, to make sure they're safe and behaving according to your personal beliefs as a parent. This goes for television, movies, music, extracurricular activities, who they spend time with, and absolutely the Internet. I would much rather have a parent restrict their kid's access than have the government step in for "the sake of the children" and begin to curtail what is and isn't allowed online.

Guarding children is the responsibility of the parent. If a parent chooses to give their child unrestricted access to the 'net, they have a responsibility to ensure that their child is using it according to how the parent deems reasonable.

Having had Internet access since I was roughly 10 (1992), I remember a time when the 'net actually was pretty darn safe for kids. But looking at what's there now... I would be very hesitant to allow a child under the age of 13 or so to have their own PC on the Internet. It would be a family PC in a room like the den that gets a lot of traffic so it can be easily "spot checked" Of course it depends on the maturity of the kid etc... but I think prior to being a teen (and in some cases ESPECIALLY once they become a teen) the parent needs to be very careful.

But ultimately, like in most things, the parent bears the ultimate responsibility to make sure their child is being safe.

Like Baker says, this isn't SPYING, it's BEING A RESPONSIBLE PARENT.

I agree with Baker, that monitoring isn't spying.

I think though, Xythe, that some parents let their kids on the internet and don't give them those guidelines, which is a pity.

I think that the difference between spying and monitoring is "intent"...are you watching your kid because you want them to get into trouble or are you watching your kid's activities on the internet because you want them to be safe and you care about them?

I think you're doing the right thing, and more parents would do right by their kids by doing so.

It is the responsibility of the parent to monitor their child in any activity they take part in, to make sure they're safe and behaving according to your personal beliefs as a parent. This goes for television, movies, music, extracurricular activities, who they spend time with, and absolutely the Internet. I would much rather have a parent restrict their kid's access than have the government step in for "the sake of the children" and begin to curtail what is and isn't allowed online.

well said

I think that you're doing the right thing by setting guidelines for her, and no, I don't think monitoring your child's activities online is spying.  I think it's simply good parenting.

I have three kids, and I'm proud to say I snoop on their internet sessions.  They know that if they violate one of the rules I have set for them regarding being online, then they won't get to be online for a veerrrry long time.  Like months.  They know that I mean it, and they haven't violated - yet, anyway!

With so many tools available to guard where your child goes, it should not be necessary to spy, BUT, if you allow your child to go where ever, spy you must to protect them from Internet predators and such. That was my object MM, to place as few physical restrictions as possible leaving the rest up to her.

And for every tool there is a way around it.

To answer your question, I tell them I do.  And I will.  And then do not get the nanny goat to figure it out.  They know I can, even if they try to hide their tracks.  So far?

I am bored with their chat sites (I did reprimand one son for his language), and the rest is a bore as well.

BUT.  They know I can and will look at what they are doing.  Not all the time, but when I feel like it.  SO they cannot depend upon me not doing it at any given time.

As I said, so far, a bore, and some nasty language.  And  a lot of songs and movies.

I think you seem to be doing it right Xythe. When my kids were Shelby's age I did not have internet in the house on purpose so we didn't have to go thru all this. I have no regrets. All three are very computer literate now and it doesn't seem to have had any effect of holding them back by not having connection at home. They had usage at school and the local library. and while not perfect for them all the time it worked great for the most part. This was about 10 yrs ago now when the first one was in HS. When the last one was finishing up HS we did get connected. I still know families that refuse to get online for various reasons, although it's getting harder not to be since our world is so connected via the net.

I was concerned with not only the bad and ugly stuff on the net, but also the addiction of being on all the time, when I felt they should be doing other things. We did know one HS girl who met an older guy on the net and ran off with him getting herself pregnant. Her parents did all they could to stop her but to no avail.

As the others already have said, it's our duty to monitor ALL that our kids do. It's a very big part of parenting. It's our job to get them to 18 in one piece.

I think I started using the net at around that age...somewhere in preteen years...I never went crazy with anything on there. I guess that makes me responsible...especially since there were no parental controls on my computer...still aren't, actually, but I'm 18 now...so that better not be a problem.

~Zoo

I think computers should be in public areas of the house and never in a room that a child can close the door and not have anyone see what they are doing.

Thats the beauty of the monitoring software Baker, I dont have to be in ther room, and it dont matter whether the door is open or otherwise. The software is like the threat of, or in fact being there all the time.

It was a great way to test may daughters responsibilities, and for the better part she did very well.

There's just way to many spoofed URLs and other pitfalls.

I worried about this in the beginning. I'm not certain some of her visits were to spoofed URLs, but there were a few times I needed to ask her about certain pages she had visited. All turned out to be learning lessons for both she and I. Sometimes I saw certain things and let them go...kids will be kids and have certain curiosities they will soothe- internet or no internet.