The babble of a middle-aged lunatic.
A peek inside my psyche.
Published on November 16, 2006 By Xythe In Blogging
More than one person has coined me as a misogynist on various posts throughout the joeuser community. Ironically, all of these people are women. I am not certain whether or not these people are qualified to characterize me as such, but somehow they have gathered opinions from my various posts that often concern the relationships between men and women in society.

While I can accept their opinions that I may act like a misogynist, I do hold resentment as being labeled as one by a layman.

So, I suppose I would like to briefly describe why I make some, or many of the comments I often post.

I am a firm believer in women’s rights, and gender equality in our world. I also understand intrinsic differences between genders that make defining equality difficult.

Before commenting on a gender related issue, I often purposely look at the arguments from the female perspective as best I can. In fact, I often argue any reasonable gender issue in these terms.

I may not be a woman, but believe it or not, I am a human being. I know how I feel, and even though I cannot say for certain how others feel, I have been in the world long enough to see my fair share of pain and suffering. In this light, I think it’s fair to say that it is possible for me to understand certain issues from the female perspective, and to pose arguments from that body of understanding.

All that being said, this article is about me, not women. I simply want to briefly outline why my comments may seem as, or be interpreted as terse in some of my comments in response to posts made here on joeuser.

As I have previously mentioned, I am a great advocate of women’s rights and world-wide gender equality and I often times argue to these ends.

Considering that I do hold these views, nothing frosts me more, than to see women “bashing” men in general terms. It comes off as crass to me, just as it comes off as crass when men make similar generalizations. Comments in these terms are bound to be offending to either gender.

Females bashing men offend me because I do advocate and argue often for their beliefs, and it simply feels like a kick in the teeth; women lumping me into their generalizations when I’m often on their side.

This is beside the point that I have had certain negative experiences in dealing with women that consequently sneak their way into my reasoning. I may become emotional or seemingly irrational at times, but I am no more a hypocrite than I am a misogynist.

Remember that when we make such comments online, readers sometimes have difficulty understanding where the author is really coming from, as we lack much of the personal feedback we observe in personal communication.

We all need to take special care of how we word gender based comments. A good example of what not to do can be illustrated in an article I posted about a man that had performed sexual relations with his dog. Near the end of the article, I made the comment, “I guess Mrs. McPhail might have been a little jealous of the scene; the dog was taken by animal control.” Clearly this post contains some emotional basis that is unclear to the reader, and bound to come off as offensive.

I hope you can now realize a bit more of where I come from with respect to gender related issues, and why I react as I do in the form of my responses in the form of comments as I do on such issues.

I respect most women, and I do not hate them. I am a human being and will sometimes act emotionally, just like women do. We are not all that different.

Comments (Page 1)
2 Pages1 2 
on Nov 16, 2006
I love women, but they're insane.

Now you see, that may seem misogynistic...but it's true. A lot of women(at least the ones I come in contact with) "think" with their emotions rather than logic and rationality...especially in an argument. Now...as much as I hate making broad generalizations, this seems to hold true for most...and this is just based on casual observation. There are exceptions, of course...

And here's something else...women demand "equal" rights but still demand their special treatment. Try having a unisex public bathroom in America and see if that flies...next time you're out with your girl, let the door slam her in the face....bet you're not getting sex that day, or week.

Now, in reality...I respect women, and I really don't have a problem with giving them their little special things...I hold doors open, I'll give up a chair, hell...I'm a slave to women if they ask nicely.

I'm not so much a misogynist than a devil's advocate...I just like to ruffle some feathers once in awhile.

~Zoo
on Nov 16, 2006

Welcome to the club!

In all seriousness, I think the ones that want to label you as such are insecure in their own identity.  I grew up with strong women.  A mother who was left to raise 4, and then later 7 children on her own.  A woman that I have yet to meet the equal of.  A woman that I call my mother.  Yet some here have decided that I am a misogynist.  WHy?  because I dont like them?  A single female and I am a misogynist!

No, it is not my male security called into doubt.  No, it is not my relationship with women called into doubt.  It is theirs.  They are so insecure in their own gender role that they have to try to label others to protect it.

Dont fall for that trap.  I refuse to.  I refuse to believe that the whole world is centered around one or two women and to not slavishly obey them means you are some how a misogynist.  Instead, I look to the real strong women in my life, and what makes them so.  And judge all other PEOPLE by those standards.  I dont have to look at a person and pigeon hole them by their gender.  I was raised by the best of the best.  That she was a woman does not detract from who that person is.

Regardless of what some wannabees want to think.

on Nov 16, 2006
I hear what you are saying guys, but as I tried to state in the article itself, this one is about me, and not the women.

There are currently only 2 JU women who will even think about commenting on my blog. I have a feeling this is due to the way that I react to what seems to me to be male bashing. Is this true, or not? Do I have some other personality flaw? Do they simply not care what I write about? I dunno.

Now I have opened up a piece of myself here, so that the women of JU have a chance to know me, and how and why I feel as I do. They (2 or 3) are the ones that have labeled me a misogynist, or the male version of a feminist.

I just want to provide a non-hostile dialog where they can tell me how they feel, without making any arguments of my own, and simply respond to theres in a passive voice.

I feel its an opportunity; they may or may not.
on Nov 16, 2006
male version of a feminist.


A masculinist...? Doesn't have quite the same ring to it, does it? Yeah, God forbid men stand up for themselves. Sure, women have been oppressed and all...but oppression is not an inherent quality for an individual...society, yes...but it's not a genetic trait.

Actually....I have an article on this and other things somewhere in my archives...I think I'll dig that out and link you to it.

~Zoo
on Nov 16, 2006
Well, you're welcome on my blog anyday.

As for what's been happening to you -though i haven't seen it - all i can say is....oh boy.

I don't know why they did it, heck, im still trying to figure out some things on my own end, but dont let it get to you. You know who you are, right?

If so, then let it go. Just...let it all go.

I've done that, and I'm fine.

(Here's hoping I made even some sense)

Peace, ~Lucas
on Nov 16, 2006
Hmm, I've not seen the comments in question since I'm just beginning to catch up on my reading. But from a comment or two you've made on my blogs in the beginning of being here, I didn't think you misogynist, but I did comment to you that you came off pretty strong and probably had a bad experience. You did admit to the bad experience so I understand where you're coming from.

There are people who will get heated, me included, in an argument when they strongly believe in something or feel very strongly about it. The key is, as you said here, how you come off when you make that argument. For one you have to try looking at the other person's p.o.v., ie walking in their shoe, be respectful, you have to listen, allowing the other person to have their say, you have to try not to be rude or disruptive with or in your arguements and most of all, you have to know when to walk away, agree to disagree.

Those are my rules for myself at least, but rules I think that are good to blog by! There will be times Xythe when no matter what you do, you can't change someone's opinions about you. Mistrued or not. Thankfully, many people around here give you the benefit of the doubt, and will give you a second chance (the 'you' being a generalization. What becomes a strong bone of contention though or things that keeps getting dregged up, especially if they've been dormant for a while. Why bother stirring up a hornets nest? Some people haven't learned not to do that yet.

These are of course my opinions.
on Nov 16, 2006
Ooops, JU faux pas, double posted!
on Nov 17, 2006
Whew...after several minutes of digging, I present to you my humorous take on why everyone hates straight white males. Link

Forgive me if it seems a bit sub par in terms of writing, it's a bit old. I have improved my writing technique since then.

~Zoo



on Nov 17, 2006
I don't know why they did it, heck, im still trying to figure out some things on my own end, but dont let it get to you. You know who you are, right?


Thanks SP, but please, I want this to stay very neutral. I really dont feel the need to acuse anybody of anything, and really, nothing has been done.

Theres just a few folks that may either be misunderstanding me personally, and if possible, I'd like to be understood; nothing more and nothing less.
on Nov 17, 2006
Thanks so much for your comments FS. I'm here now to listen to the women of JU

you have to try not to be rude or disruptive with or in your arguements and most of all,


Maybe this is a problem. Ive seen it when one of my comments comes of as strong. Perhaps a good example might be lobsterhunters "hole digging" article. I could have been more passive. Im not going to explain why I posted that, cuz I'm just listening here

Whew...after several minutes of digging, I present to you my humorous take on why everyone hates straight white males.


Grassyass Zoo. I'll give it a read
on Nov 17, 2006
I'll give it a read


Grassyass to you.

~Zoo
on Nov 17, 2006
Welcome to the club!


I've seen it Doc, dont worry.
on Nov 17, 2006
Thanks SP, but please, I want this to stay very neutral. I really dont feel the need to acuse anybody of anything, and really, nothing has been done.

Theres just a few folks that may either be misunderstanding me personally, and if possible, I'd like to be understood; nothing more and nothing less.


I didn't intend to point fingers, my apologies.

Peace~
on Nov 17, 2006
You're a GUY???
on Nov 17, 2006
Buwhahahahahaha
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