another italian story,,,,

when my wife and i were engaged, we went on a ski weekend to the poconos. as i mentioned before, italians in this area take a certain pride in using italian words and phrases seemlessly worked into the vernacular.

we arrived atthe 1st dinner that was provided in the package. we sat down and looked atthe menu, they had several choices, one of which was "manicotti." my wife decided to have that.

now to her, it's pronounced "man-a-got" not "man-a-cotee" like everyone else in this country. before the waiter arrived, i warned her that people outside the region don't pronounce it the italian way...she scoffed at me, insisting I was the one in the minority.

the waiter arrived and the conversation went like this...

waiter: and what would you like ma'am?

wife: i'll have the managot

waiter: excuse me?

wife: the managot

waiter: huh?

wife: MANAGOT!

waiter: what's that?

me: she'll have the manicotti

waiter: thank you sir

how to deal with portions when an italian cook offers you 2nd's....

if you are really, really hungry, don't lead on...you will get a portion fit for an elephant...just say "i'll have a little more."

if you just want a little more, whatever you do, don't say that, as you will get the massive portion served above....just say "no thanks, i'm not hungry."

if you really want nothing more, don't say anything,,,,get up and LEAVE the table, safer yet, leave the room...when you come back, there still may be food on your plate, but at least you've distanced yourself.

***sidenote: tip on eating with italians...ALWAYS eat food as it is served. do not ask for salt, ketchup or anything. all options such as salt and ketchup and whatever will be offered by the cook, if they think they are proper for their food. if you ask for something that is not offered, you run the risk of her sobbing uncontrollably, praying to saints, etc, etc,,,because she believes she is a lousy cook cause you wanted to change her food. this woman probably sppent hours, if not days concocting the perfect flavor for her guests...it is what some italian cooks LIVE for...asking to modify that labor of love is considered a major insult to many in that community.

some cooks may have enough pride or self control not to put on a display of emotion in front of you (the outsider) but rest assured, after you have left, the emotions will take over and God help anyone within a short distance.

tip for greeting italians...ALWAYS acknowledge and kiss on the cheek any female even remotely related to you (even by marriage) even if you don't know them. if you don't know them, it is your obligation to introduce yourself (italians put most burdens of conduct and protocol on the outsider, you must "prove" yourself to them)and then lightly kiss them on the cheek. not doing so is considered crass and the act of a "med-i-gawn" (phoenetic) which means "non italian" roughly, orig. used for any american who wasn't of italian descent. it directly does translate as "american" but is used not as an acknowledgement of someone's birthplace, but as a label that you are not good enough for them, it is an insult usually. italians like using italian words to insult you so you don't even know what they are saying and have no way to respond to words you don't know or understand.

shake hands with every man in the room. a cheek kiss is considered proper if the 2 men know each other at least semi-well.

Love the stories and "facts" Sean... Very interesting indeed!!! And agreeable at the same time lol. I have been with my wonderful Italian man for almost 3 years now. And it comes with many pros, but a few cons.... He is an exvellent cook, which means, when he does cook, I am guaranteed to get one of the greatest meals, and eat well. There are many other pros as well. Just dont have the time to list them... But as well, then you go with the stubborn " Hey, Im Italian" side too... Xyhte, you explained it better when you said :......


"''Okay. I'm a man and I'm Italian/American, thus I think Italians are the greatest. I realize however that not everybody has the ego of a middle-aged Italian, and while I know Italians are the coolest, some may think otherwise."""




But still...gotta love dem dere Italians....

Naples was one of my favorite ports when I was in the service. I was seeing a young lady there. I always had to go to her family's home where there were three generations living in one home.

I recall her father showing me the dining table for the first time. It was a magnificent thing of very thick, heavy wood that was kept well oiled. It had been in the family for over 500 years ( as had the house from what they told me).

Pros: Very warm, friendly people and great food!

Cons: Chaperones.

I'm not italian, but I'll play along...

Pros: Belinis, venetian glass, good olive oil and pesto, fabulous shoes, Zambrotta, Gattuso, and Cannavaro.
Cons: Materazzi!

Pros: Bottecelli, Sistine Chapel, Pope John Paul 1, Spumoni, Armani, Benvenuto Cellini
Cons: Polenta